Desire
HEALTHY DESIRE IS FOR THE BELOVED
HEALTHY DESIRE
FOR WHO? (AND FOR WHOSE BENEFIT?)
Healthy desire sees, with great clarity, appreciation—even reverence and devotion—what (or who) it desires. It upholds, uplifts, and benefits the beloved in many ways. It steals nothing from the beloved, but passionately works to give to the beloved. This is the heart’s way.
DESIRE FOR A FRIEND OR A LOVER
It’s healthy to want a person for who they are in their wholeness. That alone feeds and strengthens them, and makes them feel truly desirable. When you see someone for who they are, you naturally want them. And you’re moved to love and support them in their entirety. That’s healthy desire: it’s for them, not you.
TO ADD TO ONESELF OR BECOME SOMETHING
The heart of humanity is driven to create happiness for others. That moves us to develop skills and create things that bring joy, delight, pleasure, relief, comfort, healing. That’s the healthy form of desire for self-improvement.
UNHEALTHY DESIRE IS FOR ME
UNHEALTHY DESIRE
FOR WHO? (AND FOR WHOSE BENEFIT?)
Desire is unhealthy when we desire from a selfish, separate point of view—focusing on our own interests and pleasures to the exclusion of others: “I’ll pursue what I want. And if my gain means their loss, that’s okay.” That ignores the heart’s desire to help, heal, uplift, to create closeness & harmony.
DESIRE FOR A FRIEND OR A LOVER
From a separate, selfish point of view, you think of your friends or lovers as “for me, to fill my needs.” You may appreciate their beautiful qualities, but only insomuch as you can have them. Just wanting what you want, you don’t honor the tree that produces fruits for you. (“You don’t want me, Harold, you just want my _____!”)
TO ADD TO ONESELF OR BECOME SOMETHING
Unhealthy desire pursues skills and objects in a selfish spirit: “This will add to me. This will improve me. It will make me somebody. It will help me get what I want.” It’s not to serve others, just to serve oneself.
HEALTHY DESIRE FILLS THE ONE WHO DESIRES
Strong, healthy desire is our natural response to seeing and loving the beauty of those around us. Moved by love, we want each other, and give freely of ourselves. God made us that way.
UNHEALTHY DESIRE EXTENDS LACK
Unhealthy desire fades when we feel guilty for desiring too selfishly. Desire is weak when the object of desire is of relatively little value to the spirit. Desire is crippled if we are conflicted because we don’t WANT to desire as much as we do.
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